Favorite Quotes

Tell the truth--it's easier to remember -- anon.
Laissez le bon temps roulez (Let the good times roll) -- Cajun saying
When you are in a hole, stop digging-- anon.
Things are never as good, or bad, as they seem. -- Lee Murrah
I diet much better on a full stomach. -- Lee Murrah
A man marries a woman thinking she'll never change -- a woman marries a man expecting that he will -- Lee Murrah
Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world to do. I know--I've done it many times. -- Mark Twain

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. -- Groucho Marx
Television is chewing gum for the eyes -- Fred Allen
Until _____ appeared in this movie, he had never acted. He still hasn't. -- Movie review
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. -- Oscar Wilde
Television enables you to view in your living room people you would not invite into your living room. -- anon. quoted by George Will
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. -- Shirley Temple
If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. -- Tom Stoppard
I don't sound like nobody -- Young Elvis Presley when ask by a Memphis radio DJ who he sounded like.

Golf is marbles for grownups -- Fred Allen
We hope to have a university the football team will be proud of -- Unnamed college president.

Common sense isn't all that common -- Voltaire
History is just one damn thing after another!--anon.
We are all ignorant--just on different subjects -- Will Rogers
There's nothing wrong with the Georgia prison system that a better grade of prisoner wouldn't cure -- Gov. Lester Maddox
Time wounds all heels -- Unknown.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. -- W. C. Fields
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -- Albert Einstein
There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on.-- Robert Byrne
Death is life's way of telling you it's time to slow down. -- Unknown
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.-- Anonymous
One reason why I don't drink is because I wish to know when I am having a good time. -- Nancy Astor
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. -- H. L. Mencken
Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to. -- Mark Twain
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics. -- Mark Twain
A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with. -- Tenessee Williams
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Regret is the most useless of all human emotions. -- unknown

Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely -- Lord Acton.
One who is not a liberal in his youth has no heart, and who is not a conservative in his maturity has no mind -- perhaps Voltaire
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.-- Ronald Reagan
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul. -- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

Some things must be seen to be believed, but others must be believed to be seen.
It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us. -- Peter De Vries
An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support. -- John Buchan
What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive? -- Irv Kupcinet

What if this weren't a hypothetical question? -- Unknown
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. -- Irving Caesar
May my enemy be granted his fondest wish -- Chinese proverb

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. -- Farmers' Almanac
Murphy was an optimist. -- Unknown
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. -- Pablo Picasso
The guy who invented the wheel was an idiot. The real genius was the guy who invented the other three. -- Sid Caesar

It's O. K. to be a dreamer because dreams can come true. -- Lee Murrah
Only dead fish swim downstream.
Things are only impossible until they're not.-- Jean-Luc Picard
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Winners make commitments, and losers make excuses.
If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. -- Mark Twain
Even if you"re on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. -- Will Rogers

Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. -- Fred Allen
A camel: a horse designed by a commitee -- Unknown
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. -- Bob Hope
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. -- Elbert Hubbard
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Make dust -- or eat dust. -- Unknown

I can't heads or tails out of ambiguity.
I feel more like I do now that I did only a few minutes ago.
This is deja vu all over again.
I resemble that remark!
I didn't believe in reincarnation in my last life, and I certainly don't believe in it in this one!--Lee Murrah
Sign in Post Office: "No dogs allowed except seeing eye dogs."

I could waltz across Texas with you -- Ernest Tubb
The Devil took me out again last night...got me drunk and got me in a fight.
I Left Something Turned on at Home--Rhett Atkins
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Jesus, Drop Kick Me Through the Goal Post of Life--Jerry Lee Lewis
What Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Mad a Loser Out of Me)--Jerry Lee Lewis
They call me the fireman....that's my name...runnin' 'round all over town puttin' out old flames--George Strait
I meant every word he said--Ricky Van Shelton
She's Too Good to Be True (to You)

MLM: April 26, 1997